Tuesday, February 17, 2015

October Is Never Bored, Leaves Of Fall Colors Scored, Books All Overlord, My Wit Has Floored…

October Is Never Bored, Leaves Of Fall Color Scored, Books All Overlord, My Wit Has Floored, Sarcasm Has Gored, Riddles May Have Soared, Some Did Land Untoward, Much Logic Is Unmoored, Nothing About Rob Ford, Many Concepts Explored, End… Here! Comes The Horde!

 Below my Short Storied Story… are all of my October 2014 Bogus Book Tweets!

Also watch the tweet feed for the latest Bogus Book by RTC by following HappsHealthHome on Twitter, one appears each day between 5 and 6pm.

SHORT STORIED STORY: What Is Felt Really?

A Trail In Lake Maria State Park: Yes, pic is altered
The ramifications of our actions can be felt far afield. Ever felt felt far afield? It feels just like felt felt closer to any field. While those last two sentences were neither here nor there, and may have been far afield themselves, they were not what I was focused on in the first sentence.

Yet the texture of felt may have a purpose here. Whereas a porpoise may have felt something over there. Most of this will seem ridiculous to anyone who has arrived for some unfortunate reason at this portion of my short storied. As you rush out you may request a full refund, but since I've had to let the box office people go or they've exited on their own volition, it may be quite difficult.

That said…

Ramifications is a long word. Yes, Grease is the word, but ramifications will never be a movie or a stage play, although it could be a dry-eyed yet sad documentary or with great difficulty found in a dictionary. Obviously we do not need to make a decision here, since either choice may take us far afield. It's ironic how often that concept has weaved itself into the fabric of my short storied.

That reminds me of Mark Felt, who was the basis for the character Sore Throat, in the Carl Woody Harrelson and Bob Weinstein movie adaptation of All The Present And Accounted For Men. Mr. Sore either had a very bad case of a rare strep (aka Capital Hill Cooties) or his whistleblowing was so extreme it affected his larynx. To many, Mark was a hero; others thought him a smooth operator but of unknown moral fiber. Myself, I've always felt good about Mark Felt; it's a feeling of genuine Corinthian leathery felt, of which Mark's heritage must have sprung, and then knitted together into its own story.

As convoluted as this story sound may seem to some, I feel your understanding of felt, whether Mark or other elements, has made you aware of the many facts and figures I have not been able to correctly state here. As I said earlier, there are ramifications for anyone who follows in my footsteps, story formation or yarn production.

Yes, I may not have explained as such early on the length of yarn I may stretch things, but the fact (the one and only) that I wrote the word ramifications should have hoisted a red flag of concern. Especially since you were darn tootin' sure that I didn't even know what that word meant, until I was sending you far afield (there it is again!) with every sentence, which was virtually placed in front of you by a combination of HTML, VML, Java's Hutterites, and my faithful Eunuchs Code of conduct.

 I will conclude this short storied by taking my analogy one step farther beyond far afield. I'm talking way way way off from broads on any street, to something not quite ready for the prime rhyme…

Think of all the things you've felt about this short storied, and then tell me if you regret those feelings or if you felt Felt got a raw deal or was dealt what a Felt should be dealt if felt was married to Patty Melt?

Thank you, I'll be here all weak, and tired in my humor.

Sin merely,

 RTC

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Tuesday, January 6, 2015

September Is Seasonally Adjusted: Nearly Done Summer is De-combusted…

September Is Seasonally Adjusted: Nearly Done Summer is De-combusted As It Is Falling Leaves Busted, Where Winter Maybe Dusted, and Car Windows Can Get Ice Encrusted, Yet I End Before Everyone Is Bad Rhyme Disgusted
My running hill - Lake Maria State Park 

Below my Short Storied Story… are all of my September 2014 Bogus Book Tweets!

Also watch the tweet feed for the latest Bogus Book by RTC by following HappsHealthHome on Twitter, one appears each day between 5 and 6pm.

THE RISE & FALLACY OF THE IDIOTS

When I write a Bogus Book (title), you must understand that I may believe in the statement, yet it is still bogus because it always isn't a real book. Often times however, I am being sarcastic or ironic, and some may simply say, idiotic. Yet these people, the idiotic group, are the people each bogus title is written for. So remember when you put me in your group of idiots, you have stepped into the greatest paradoxical trap of all time.

How do I know it is the best paradoxical trap of all time? That's easy, it's my best title from my Bogus Book of All Time ParAbnormalDox Rankings: Now You Walk Into My Paradox As You Walk Off With My Pair Of Docs (a gift from my friend Martin "Chevy Chase's Van" Buren). While I've already done one full print run*, the All Time ParAbnormalDox Rankings ebook is still for sale, at 32¢, yet I'm still able to give away all four of my great promotional items: refurbished Ginsu Knave Knives, Ron Poe Peelers, Pocket Fisher Price Dowels (for girls) & Rods (for boys, of course!), and Nearly Furless Furbys. Shipping is also free today!

Say this really quickly, three times:

  1. Refurbished Nearly Furless Furbys
  2. Refurbished Nearly Furless Furbys
  3. Refurbished Nearly Furless Furbys!

*As to my full run first and last printing, I printed my ebook once on my ink-jet printer, but since it's an ebook, which I found out later, you don't print them. I guess, that's what the "e" stands for. I thought it was the "i" that stood for the interwebs. However, the person who explained "e" to said "e" is for electronic or the ethernet, or he said, possibly the ether he smelled on my breath.

Additionally, he said, the ether chemical is probably what made me seem light headed every time he saw me here before. Then he said, the "i" does not stand for interwebs, or interwebtubes the "i" actually stands for idiot. But I asked, why would Steve Jobs use "i" for all his gadgets, then?! His response was a question: did Steve ever meet you? Well, I said, no… He then said, well that's why!

I was either still confused, light headed, feeling bad Steve and I never did meet, or all five of those… four… maybe two?

Okay, one second… How many eithers were there in that last sentence…?

And where is my ether?!

But my name IS NOT Esther!

Sincerely, RTC


BOGUS BOOKS
OF THE DAY
FOR SEPTEMBER 2014















































































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